,"It is only through the eyes of others that our little lives have any significance. When there is no one who sees you and no one who will look at you, it is as if you don't even exist"

I stumbled upon this quote the other day which had me wondering. Generally I admire selflessness and try to motivate myself by love and reward myself for putting in work and giving without attention or recognition (The true test of a man’s character is what he does when no-one is watching). I try to stay away from acting solely to feed my ego and make myself look good but of course I know, I have an ego. I know its there talking into my ear everyday but I try not to listen to it and let it lead me astray. Along with that, I also try not to listen to the opinions of others as its extremely difficult to truly understand the intentions and context of others decisions and to truly know someone.

I tell myself that it doesn't matter what other people think. That by doing “the right thing” even if its unappreciated and unrecognized it will serve me in the long run, even if I can not tangibly see those rewards, even if people misunderstand my intentions or judge me for my actions.… but that's not always true. As the quote goes if no-one ever noticed you, you would feel like you don't exist and I believe that! If no-one ever spoke to me or even looked at me, I would be pretty bummed and feel isolated. Loneliness is quite a large factor in mental illness’ such as depression and a lot of people who commit suicide feel there is no-one for them to turn to. Whether that's true or not is a different conversation but that is how they feel. I feel alone at times and I'm sure a large amount of people do from time to time, its nothing to be ashamed of but its important to always put things in perspective.

Searching for worth through others eyes and social media is a fruitless venture. I think it will create a unquenchable thirst for attention. I think the key is surrounding yourself with people who align with the journey you are on, people that are there for you through thick and thin and people who have similar beliefs and values, people who bring joy and happiness into your life. For me, that's open-minded, supportive, loving, family + friend orientated, outgoing, adventurous, ambitious, fun, joyous, grateful, humble, hard working people… These are the people I want to be ‘seen by’.I have a close group of people who I truly care about and value their opinions. I admire this people for a variety of reasons and they all have some of the values listed above.These are the people who I want to spread joy to and be there for. These are the important ones for me.

I'm not saying other peoples opinions don't matter, but they should be taken lightly. If someone is tearing me down from afar. I do my best not to stress about it and continue on with my life, my values and being there for the important people. Chances are they are probably just misunderstanding or misinterpreting me or belittling others for their own sense of worth.  I know the important people in my life will see me for who I truly am, sometimes they don't and that sucks but majority of the time, they know me well and know what I stand for. I think its important to try and repair issues if people are important to you and conflict arises but occasionally you may need to cut cords with people in your life that aren't helping you grow, move forward or generally bring joy into your life.

I can almost guarantee you always have people who are important and there are always plenty of people out there who you can add to your inner circle if you are open and pro-active.

Its super important to spread love and encouragement to all people though. Whether they show appreciation for it or not, it is a good thing. If they are in your inner circle and are important to you, you obviously want them to be happy, so help them 'be seen' and be there for them. If they are not in your inner circle you have no idea what they're going through and the stories they are creating in their heads. They may feel alone and a little gesture or word or praise can help them feel seen. Not everyone has the strength to block out the haters and love, encouragement and gratitude always feels good no matter who it's coming from.

So in short- life is pointless without people along for the journey, seek only to be ‘seen’ by the important people in your life and give love, encouragement and gratitude to everyone!

I am someone who aspires to be and do a lot in my life. I want it all… I want to go to the olympics. I want financial security and a high paying job. I want to live a life of purpose making a difference in others lives. I want to travel the world and experience amazing things. I want a life full of passion, excitement and love and I have a fear of ‘mediocrity’.

I really enjoy a concept explored in a movie ‘the gambler’ with Mark Wahlberg. The concept is what is the point of doing anything if your not a genius, if it doesn't change the world, if its not extraordinary because mediocre is boring, useless and pointless. So whats the point of being a writer if your not shakespeare because your work will effect very few people and in the end. Whats the point of playing tennis if you kick around the tour just outside of the top 200 and spend all your time on the road earning an average wage. Whats the point of getting a job as an accountant, spending 70% of your time crunching numbers, working 9-5 just so you can earn enough money to live and spend a few hours of your weekend enjoying yourself and then just go back to work and do it all again. Is that really living? Cause it sounds kinda depressing yet thats the reality for most of us.

Its so damn hard to be a genius, nearly impossible. Considering the shear volume of people in this world who have extraordinary talents that are discovered and honed from such a young age these days. Golf and Tennis players are coached from around 5 years old, if not younger and from those hundreds of thousands of kids only 1 or 2% will even reach the pros. Its so tough to turn the tides if you aren't born into a family with a lot of money and connections. Sure I can live a comfortable life but to develop a portfolio of millions if not hundreds of thousands of dollars feels so distant in todays world in my opinion.

I don't necessarily like this realm of thinking. As I have learnt “comparison is the thief of joy” so I take it more directly related to me and my own investment and time. If I am not ‘all in’ to my studies- whats the point? If Im not all in to sporting ambitions- whats the point? If I'm not all in to a relationship- whats the point? because Im not going to reach my true capabilities as an academic or as an athlete without being ‘all in’ and putting in countless hours and if I don't reach my capabilities, I'm not going to be truly successful or great in that chosen field. Same with relationships, same with any goal or ambition I have in any part of my life.

The more I think about it, the more I realise its bullshit. I think the point of life, is to be happy. So what if Im not a genius as long as I do things and have people in my life that make me happy. I can grow and learn on the path to success and give literally everything I am capable of giving to achieving that success but if I fall short… am I a failure? No! as the cliche says “enjoy the journey, not the destination”. I am in control of the journey. I am not in control of the destination as there is too many variables that play a part in the outcome, yet everyday I can be grateful for the day and thankful for the challenges and can live a happy life.

Real loving relationships are such a huge investment of ones time, to get to know someone, to care about them, to work through your ‘issues’ (cause everyone has them) takes years. To get to know someone on that deep level takes a level of admiration or adoration for the other person and then a lot of work! I think the key is finding someone in which the work doesn't feel like work. Same thing goes with career choices, to have a real rewarding, challenging and fulfilling career takes many years of education and experience. How do you simply find all the time to put in to all these different areas?

When I say I want it all, I want it all in every part of my life- not just one. I want the job, the health, the purpose, the relationships. To me happiness isn't being a millionaire yet having no-one to share it with and hurting other people to get there. So my focus is being my best self in every area and working on improving my productivity and and time in said area. I want to work harder everyday yet enjoy that work in all areas. In my opinion they feed off each other anyway. Eating healthy and working out makes you feel happier and improves your relationships and mental capacity. Success in uni and overcoming challenges there helps me be a better athlete by dealing with pressure and exposing me to different way of thinking. So instead of jumping all to one area or option and spending all my focus and investment there, Im just going to roll with the punches, follow my heart , live with balance and see where it take me.

I am going to do my best to be productive and invest allocated time in to each area at different times. I am going to be present when I am studying for an hour, present when I am watching game footage for 30 minutes and present when Im chatting to someone for 5 minutes. I will do my best to cut out useless time scrolling on my phone. I will be all in and present in my activity or completely switched off and zoned out into nothingness (cause sometimes I need that too)

Two things happened this weekend. I witnessed a beautiful wedding where two amazing people combined their lives and then I saw a great mate in heartache due to a tragic loss of one of his friends. Both of these put things in perspective for me and really sunk in how beautiful yet how fragile life is. It makes me remember how silly my problems are and appreciate all the beauty in the world. It reminds me how I want to live my live my life.

Ive been toying around with this idea for a few weeks now of making decisions either with my heart or my head. I once heard that the only motivators in life are fear or love and every reason we do something is a sub-category of either one of those.

The area of my life that I've been finding this most relevant to lately is relationships. We are currently working out playing partnerships for future seasons and we often raise the similarities between a successful partnership in Beach Volleyball and a successful romantic relationship. It makes sense because they both have the same core functions:

to improve the quality of each others lives
to help each other grow
to share in each others successes and failures
to help each other achieve their goals
to give selflessly to each other
to appreciate each other
to pick each other up
to have fun together
to know and understand each other on a deeper level

Both types of relationships take a lot of hard work no matter who you are but its worth it (I hope)

Making decisions with my heart sounds lame and dorky every time I say it but there’s many other words for it. Intuition, soul, gut, feeling, instinct come to mind and for me it appeals to my more daring, adventurous, risk-taking side. It means aligning my decisions to my own personal values of love, passion, honesty, selflessness, open-mindedness, honour and spirituality- the feeling that I belong to something greater than just myself, just a job or just a sport.

We’ve all grown up being told “why don't you use your head?” or “Why don't you think things through?” Surely looking back most people can look at their stupid ‘mistakes’ with fondness. The times they lived, the times they were free, the times they didn't think and most importantly the times that have moulded them and helped them become the people they are today.

My head side of me is the more cautious/ conservative side. The side telling me to get a university degree, get a job and settle down. To make decisions based on ‘logic’, finances or what society views as what should happen next or what is ‘right’.

I may be over exaggerating the differences in the two sides. I may be making the ‘heart’ look like the hero and the ‘head’ the villain and I know there is space for balance. Although from my experiences every time Ive made decisions purely on logic, I haven't been able to sleep at night. Ive felt an uneasiness in me, that I'm making a mistake or settling for less than I deserve and when I've pushed through that, Ive felt boring. Ive felt life become monotonous and lose its flair and excitement.

Ive felt like this twice in my life. One was when I got a job working in insurance full-time and just lost all passion for things in my life. The other was when I was over committed to volleyball. I would train, eat, work, sleep and do pretty much nothing else ever. Everything I would do had to help me perform or save money to travel or both and I was trying to be a robot. Both were no way to live, even though I love my sport, I am more than just an athlete. If I cant socialise, have a beer with a mate, spend $50 on a jumper or jump off a jetty… whats the point of anything? If I cant have fun… why bother getting up every morning.

I believe in making sacrifices and hustling for bigger goals but I still want to enjoy that grind and have a level of balance and enjoy the smaller things all throughout.

When I think of any of my idols and doing great things; none of those people settled for less. In the face of unpopular opinion or financial hardships or self doubt or fear, they all persevered and came out better on the other side. Muhammad Ali comes to mind when he refused to go to the Vietnam war, Eddie the eagle when everyone was tirelessly telling him to give up on his dreams of being a winter Olympic ski-jumper and countless others like Conor McGregor, Oprah Winfrey or Lebron James who were all dirt poor at one stage but kept hustling and grinding to achieve great things.

So when it comes to the tough decisions on relationships or anything in life, my philosophy is follow your ‘heart’ and go with what feels most right. I don't want to be in a relationship, a job, a partnership or a life because I ‘should be’ and it makes ‘sense’. I want to be happy and following my ‘heart’ has made me the most happy, even when its taken me to places, that I probably shouldn't be or suck at the time.

I like the idea of taking one step at a time in the direction your intuition leads you. I like to try and be open-minded because I can be happy in a million different ways and that's the end goal. If it doesn't work out the way I thought it would or could…. cool, get over it and take the next step. I try to believe that eventually everything will work out.

While writing this, I don't currently have a Volleyball partner, a relationship, any assets, a degree or a lot of money but I probably wouldn't have it any other way… I guess we will wait and see if it all works out.

Steve Jobs: “Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

Its been a fair while since I posted on here. Ive decide to start writing some more posts to help me reflect upon my experiences and continue to learn and grow from the teachings of trying to be the very best person and player I am capable of. I also find it quite enjoyable looking back on my experiences and see this, kind of like my own journal. I am willing to be vulnerable and post this for anyone who may find value in it, so feel free to comment or hit me up if you have any questions or want to chat about any of it.

A “quick” catchup of some key lessons and trips.


December 2014- FIVB Manguang, South Africa. - Balance!


This event was where I finally got the balance right! I often feel a slight level of disappointment or regret when I travel for Beach Volleyball and don't get to fully immerse myself in the city, country or culture. I have been to many countries and just played volleyball and left. I know thats part of the deal, making sure I am my very best physically, mentally and emotionally to compete but at the same time; I am more than just an athlete and want to live and experience new and exciting things, as well as performing on court and in my career.

Besides getting things right on court and qualifying to place 9th after playing epic team ball, we spontaneously decided to travel down to Cape Town. We caught up with a legendary mate (Mark Petersen) and I got to experience my birth-country. I climbed table-mountain, witnessed an acapella group sing, swam with great whites, patted lion cubs, swam in 12 degree ocean water (ice bath temp), bungee jumped, went to a cheetah park and saw some crazy eye-opening things like Soweto, a shanty town that has grown to a population of around 5 million people. I also got to finally see my family and gorgeous little cousins who I never really got to meet living in different countries.

This is what life's supposed to be about! stepping up, taking risks and rising to challenges in your chosen profession and then living spontaneously with very few plans and seeing what the world has to offer. I finally got to “feel the beat of Africa” that my Dad always talks about.


April 2015- FIVB Fuzhou, China- Selflessness/ Processes over outcomes.


This was again an exhilarating event that I got to play with one of my favourite people; Casey Grice. The teamwork, belief and excitement between us was higher than any team I have ever been a part of. We had this uncanny ability to see the game in a similar way, naturally play from the same playbook, in which we would fight on court for each other, lift the other person up and raise ‘our’ game to standards neither of us had ever really played at before and simply just have fun being around each other.

We fought through country quota, two single elimination qualifying matches and then placed second in our pool. We ended up losing our first playoff game to finish 17th but left with winning 5 from 7 games. Now 17th doesn't sound so good compared to some of my other career results but when I put my ego aside, this was one hell of a tournament. One of the times where all your handwork pays off and your team is vibing, nothing can touch you cause you are up for the challenge. You have a soldier you are willing to die for beside you and you are just gonna take one step/ one pass/ one side out/ one point at a time regardless of your inner doubts or fears.

I remember sitting at the warm up courts and watching Brouwer/ Muewson absolutely tee off on balls. I just sat their in awe. These guys are 6ft 6 and 6ft 10 but with crazy speed. they both can jump out of their skin and do some inhuman feats on court. They won World Champs in 2013 in their early 20’s and more recently won the bronze medal at the 2016 olympic games. I couldn't help but feel like I didn't belong but it didn't matter what happened on court. It didn't matter if I was going to get smoked, didn't matter if I wasn't good enough because I had my mate and we were going to have a crack, side by side.

When I look back its funny to see that many of my most ‘successful’ tournaments or games didn't end with a good result if viewed from the outside world but from an inner appreciation of the challenges faced and the performances on court.


September 2015- FIVB Rio, Brazil- Don't have to feel good to show up and perform


This was an awkward tournament for me. I was excited to go to South America for the first time in my life and see a whole new continent and a new vibrant city but everything felt numb. Firstly I split up with my girlfriend Jacqui the day before I flew. Sure this was after a few months with no passion, romance or excitement for eachother and it was definitely time to say goodbye but I still lost my best friend and the person who knew me better than anyone else in the world. Its worse when you have 48 hours of solo travel to let that sink in. Along with this I lost my other best mate and playing partner Casey, who decided to pursue some other career opportunities. So I was playing with a new partner Bo, who I had a lot of respect for as a player but I didn't admire in the same way and at the time didn't really want to play with due to some differing values.

Even though the whole trip felt like it was in black and white and I didn't ‘feel’ the colour of previous events, we toughened up and went to work. We had 2 or 3 sessions training together and no previous playing partnership to build on but we managed to fight and scrap our way through the qualifier (Where Bo was sick form food poisoning) to finish 9th place.

It just goes to show if you don't let your emotions and thoughts push you around, you can still do great things regardless of feelings.


February 2016- Aus Champs- Surfers Paradise QLD- The beautiful harshness of life.


This was a beautifully harsh tournament. I moved to Adelaide earlier that year and was fortunate enough to stay with some of my good friends from Perth, who really supported me and had me missing home. I had a tough finals day, we beat Australia’s top mens team of Kapa/Mchugh for the first time ever in my career in a epic 18-21 26-24 19-17 semi-final and then went on to match up with Court/Schumann of Victoria in the final. We had 3 match points in the final, two of which should of been swings for the match and I choked incredibly hard and lost a sure thing for my team.

I can honestly say this was the most heart-breaking loss of my career. I remember walking back to the hotel cramping in both legs, shattered from a brutal day in the hot and humid queensland sun. I checked my phone on the walk (limp) home and saw countless messages of support from family and friends supporting me. I burst out in tears as I felt an overwhelming wave of disappointment crash on me because I felt like I let everyone important to me down.

In elite sport and in life, one point, one inch, one millimetre touch, one wrong word, one second of lost focus can cost you everything. Winning and losing, and with it self-worth and perceived success or failure run across such a fine line. Lucky enough pain passes with time and I have learnt that you either win or learn. Assuming you are resilient enough to push through the heartache. There will always be another opportunity or another person to fall into your life if you keep moving forward.


March 2016- AVC Asian Championships- Manly NSW- Risk it for the biscuit/ Past doesn't impact the present


Heading in to this tournament I had to sit out of training for 5 weeks due to a torn ab and my skin folds skyrocketed. My preparation was far from ideal but it was almost a blessing in disguise because I had 5 weeks to sit on the loss of Australian Championships and I was itching to play and just compete!

The injury almost gave us freedom to play with no expectations, as we were just grateful to be on court. We just fought hard, hustled and backed ourselves in playing fearless. We had a motto for the tournament:

“Accept the challenge without reservation or doubt and risk the depression of losing, so we may experience the exhilaration of victory.”

We lived true to this and didn't worry about where the team was but we just played fearlessly and we were willing to risk losing and take chances to give ourselves a better chance of winning. We played pretty well and made the final. I got revenge on Court/ Schumann who beat me in Aus Champs. We lost the final but we were in a good position to win. It sucked not taking out the whole thing but the match was streamed on national TV and it was the most prize money Ive ever won in a tournament.

and like I said before, you either win or learn. so looking forward to the next opportunity.



If you have read this far, thank you. I hope you find some value in my thoughts and hope to continue to throw up some ideas.

First Beach event of the summer is done and dusted and it was an absolute cracker! The first PBVS Mindarie Pro was held last weekend and Casey Grice and myself were fortunate enough to take it out.

We ran in to some trouble in the semi-final against the Malaga Stars Indoor Beach Volleyball boys Warren “the Gypsy” Jones and Scotty Biffen. Waz is probably one of the sneakiest players I have played against and always seems to pull off some crazy unorthodox plays. We had a really long break leading in to the finals day on Sunday and I found myself quite tense and on edge the whole game. Generally when I get on edge like this, it gets really easy for me to lose my breath and get puffed out quickly. I also find it difficult to find rhythm in passing and setting as well as having the composure to look through the net, see the opposition and make good offensive decisions. This restricted our usually solid side out. We weren’t as intimidating being out of rhythm while running our offence, as well as being far from our decisive and ruthless best in defence.

It’s the biggest challenge we have faced since our newly formed and very young team has formed but I was very impressed with how we handled ourselves under the intense pressure of being taken to the limit against a team we should beat.  The general team communication was impeccable, as neither player got too flustered, overwhelmed or frustrated. Even though I was playing like balls Casey continued to remain strong, take care of his role and performance, stay upbeat and would just look at me and say “come on bro, we got this”.  The ability of each of us to back each other in, have complete faith and trust that we would pull through for each other really helped us scrap out a 18-21, 21-13, 15-13 win.

In the final we came across the “spider” Rhodri Simmonds and the infamous “Mosquito” Sam Halley.  We took on the big man as we figured it would be a good match up and that we could put a big block in his face. Luckily enough we were able to get Rhodri a bit tense early on. We clicked, found our rhythm, sided out clinically and were at our defensive best with me getting a few shut outs and Casey getting a good touch on any half opportunity and putting it away.  We ran away with the game winning in 21-11 21-10.

Key take-aways ad learning’s really came from the semi where we didn’t play well at all (or I didn’t, as Case still played pretty good). I don’t know if you’ve ever heard that your greatest lessons come from your loses but it is something I truly believe, so next time you’re shattered after a heartbreaking loss, flip it. Use it as an opportunity to grow yourself and better yourself. Anyway I really believe that any great team always backs the other person in and is built on trust, respect and faith. Every single point we spoke about what we as individuals could do better and there was no angst or resentment when someone screwed up. There was no blame or expectation of the other person to do more, just two players giving and backing their partner in, to find a way and pull through even if it wasn’t pretty.  After every mistake we moved on quickly, stayed composed and had faith that the game was still in our control.  In big games, tense situations where you aren’t playing well it is very easy to get frustrated and hard to keep these important team interactions. I was really pleased to see how the team handled its first test and scrap it.

Always give as much as you can, have fun and remember the harder it is to give the more important it is you do so and lastly go easy on yourself. Some days your best will be amazing and other it will just be ok or not enough but as long as you give your best you can be satisfied.

Thanks for reading and arr yeh Durant/ Grice are a team for 2014 if I didn’t mention that earlier. Looking forward to some intense competition, summer days, good ball and another summer of learning’s and growth.

Thanks again,

Durantula

 

During the last couple of months I’ve been having an awesome pre-season getting ready for the up coming summer. I’ve started lifting at TUFF team who have helped me up my physicality and prepare mentally for the year ahead. I highly recommend there studio for anyone in Perth looking to take their functional training to the next level and absolutely crush themselves doing a HIIT (high intensity interval training) session or modified strong man. These are my absolute favourite sessions where you push yourself to the absolute maximum and struggle to walk yet somehow find the strength to pull and push sleds, flip tyres and throw giant medicine balls around trying to beat your time over and over again. It’s a struggle to find the energy to do another round but its something I’m sure is going to up my performance tenfold this year.

The team has really surpassed my expectations with the level of attention every athlete who comes in gets as well as the actual training methods applied. My progression has been quite slow focusing on accessory exercises before getting in to heavy lifts. I’ve been focusing on activating really important muscles such as my glutes, VMO’s, flexibility in my hips, Trap 3’s and other stabilizing muscles in my shoulders, which are easily forgotten and have caused me knee and shoulder issues in the past. I’m also loving the focus on the posterior chain, which I can feel is paying dividends with my jump and back strength. Jordan and Adam really push technique, breathing and timing on the concentric and eccentric phases of exercises, which again are something that is super important and easily forgotten in my past programs and is something I can now fully understand the importance.

I have also felt a lot of benefit from the TUFF team outside of general lifting with Jordan passing along some of his favourite books and Kristi helping me with my diet. These books are so eye opening and something that I believe everyone should be immersing themselves in to! The understanding, growth and benefits of personal development and learning from some of the best athletes, businessmen and spiritual leaders is unreal and so beneficial in all walks of life. Kristi has been helping me out and supporting me with my diet with a greater focus on adding a lot of protein, fats and vege’s in to my diet and limiting my carbs going along the paleo guidelines. I’m not fully converted and sneak in a few carbs here and there but the greater focus on what I’m putting in to my body has really improved my recovery and functioning both on the court and in the gym.

I highly recommend everyone to experiment with or look in to what kind of diet and training methods are best for their own body type. I believe there is no right way to train or eat but its very important to be open minded and try different ways, techniques and things to improve your performance, Make sure that you enjoy your training and diet and are always talking as many steps closer to your goals every day.

I’m really looking forward to the up coming season and being in tip top shape. My overall training is looking very well rounded with a good mixture or accessory exercises, heavy lifting, HIIT or Modified strongman sessions and of course Sand sessions. Exciting times ahead! Big thanks to Jordan, Adam and Kristi for the help thus far. 

Check out their website or FB here:
http://www.tuffteam.com.au/home/
https://www.facebook.com/theultimatefitnessfacility/timeline

Peace out

Durantula

I would just like to say a quick good luck to all those who are competing in the Australian Junior Volleyball Championships in Canberra, Schools Sport u16s in Adelaide and Youth Beach Volleyball World Championships held in Cyprus, Portugal or Mexico. 

I was privileged to spend some time and see some young and upcoming Volleyballers back home in WA a couple of weeks ago. It is very exciting to see the passion around my home state and being able to see plenty and plenty of kids with a love for the sport, such a desire to succeed and such good attitudes and work-ethics. There really is a very special culture being built in WA and I am very proud of all the up and coming kids who are pushing the sport forward. 

I was also lucky enough to have all the U19 and U21 male Australian Beach Volleyball representatives over for dinner, they are more than welcome to come over and get schooled at table tennis or lose their money playing poker any day. Im sure they're inspired by my roommate Nikki Laird and her parter Maria-fe Artacho Del Solar's amazing Gold medal in the U23 World Championships which is such a great achievement for Beach Volley here in Australia. Best of luck! Go Aus! looking forward to hearing about more amazing achievements for Australia and WA (not bias at all). 

To all those competing in your big events in the next coupe of weeks, enjoy the experience and make of it what you will. If you apply yourself to the very best of your ability and give everything you are capable of, you can walk away with your head high. Its so easy to get frustrated and think about yourself but if you just contribute to your respective teams to the best of your ability, you should be proud. Help everyone around you, fight to win and maintain the best, positive attitude possible. Just continually give and lose any "victim" or "what about me" attitude.

To all those who didn't get selected, keep working hard and playing for the love and enjoyment. It is very clear to see their is some special people who will succeed and get the same honours. Just have faith your time will come and never lose hope or faith in yourself!

Special mention to the Stewart girls who are almost training a full time load to reach their goals, its amazing to see how fast you are developing and to Shelby Maher who I have seen grow from an unco 15 year old (who looked like this giraffe doing pushups) to representing Australia in now both Indoor and Beach and likes to make fun of my Blog (thanks mate).

On our way in to Mexico we were struggling to perform on the court and decided to spend an extra night in LA during our stop over to just get away and mentally refresh. We went to Hermosa Beach which had hundreds of courts set up and even got to watch an NBA playoff game that night- LA Clipper vs Golden State Warriors game 7.

In Shanghai the week prior we had a few meetings with our coach and realised that we weren’t focusing on what’s best for the team to the best of our ability. World Tour is a very fierce place and it is very harsh, if you’re a qualifier team and you lose one game your knocked out. We weren’t performing well; the external factors all around us were pushing us around. We ended up identifying that the increased pressure of the environment was causing us to do what feels comfortable… which was to have casual training sessions with the teams we know, to socialise, to chill out instead of doing what’s important for the team which was to have conversations on how to improve, to train hard and train against different teams, to study and watch certain players and learn from them, basically just to go above and beyond in everything we do and maintain really high standards. So we were doing what we felt like instead of doing what’s going to help us best improve and perform. 

After having this realisation, we were driving the standards so much more and sticking true to our team values and the areas that are important for us. We played the qualifier with an attitude to play “fearless” and go after every opportunity. We beat a Mexican Team earlier in the day and ended up playing a strong Chinese team who were very vocal for a Chinese team and had a new celebration where they would get in your face after they did something good and would yell out “yeah baby” (it was pretty funny but also intimidating to hear the stereotypically quiet nation get up and about). We outlasted them through just being tougher, we fought and fought, we were aggressive and taking the game on point after point and wore them down eventually. It was a long match and they played well but our strong consistent play forced errors from them in the back ends of sets as they felt like they had to try something to be in the game.

It was an overwhelming feeling after we qualified. We felt so relieved and happy to qualify and finally play well, yet mentally we were exhausted to push through the adversity of the day and physically buggered to play at maximal output. I was cramping straight after we qualified but I was determined to play at my best and recovered well with some rest and electrolytes. 
This was the first time I had ever made main draw, I was ecstatic but we made sure we didn’t get carried away with our result or our emotions. It was a new feeling and we made the decision to stay focused on the next job, It wasn’t a time to celebrate all we did was qualify; the real show was just beginning.

After qualifying I woke up very flat both mentally and emotionally. We were on such a high and I think its just natural to crash afterwards (even though we did our best not to). We were playing Todd Rogers the 2008 Olympic gold medallist and nicknamed 'The Professor' for his high Volleyball IQ. We were still playing well but lacked that extra umph and lost 20-22 18-21. We took out from the game that we were good enough to compete at this level and knew we just had to BELIEVE and keep playing with that fearless, aggressive, take every opportunity on mentality. This worked well and we knocked off the German teams in our pools- Fuchs/Kaczmerek 2-0 21-17: 21-14 and then Dollinger/Wickler 21-19: 21-17. We again just played hard and fought to win. It was hot and the euros didn’t like it. We had that practice of competing in humid Thailand earlier on the tour and really wanted the win. 

The other results went our way and we topped our pool. Which gave us a bye in to the next round of single elimination with all the 2nd and 3rd ranked teams in the respective pools having to play off to play to make in to the round of 16.

We drew a strong Austrian team who were very skilled and actually won the bronze medal at World U23 Championships I was at in 2013. The game was very up and down and back and forth. We made too many errors in the first and allowed them to feel comfortable and play well. We sorted our play out and fought back with our characteristic fighting spirit for this tournament. In the third set we were down 12-8 and decided to change things up. We swapped sides on the bad end and decided to split block. I had seen plenty of them in previous years and read well to make some digs. It was a risky move as 95% of the time I block and Sam is in the backcourt, but it paid off. I made a couple of digs and as a team we made some transition plays to come back and win the match after being down a couple of match points. We won 16-21 21-17 17-15 I was really happy as it was the biggest game of my career and I managed to majorly influence it and step up to win. 

The quarterfinal was another step forward. We played the host nation Mexico in the evening and the grand stands were packed. Every time I went to serve the rowdy crowd would yell “ooooohhhhhhhhh punta” just as we would strike the ball (FYI punta is not a very flattering word in mexican). It again was tight fought match and we found ourselves down 14-10 in the third. One by one we clawed our way back to 14-14 just to fall short and lose the match 20-22 21-18 14-16. After the match we felt so alive, it was a crazy experience playing in front of such a big passionate crowd. As I was serving in the third set they I could feel the vibrations (or maybe I was just shaking from the nerves) but none the less it was a personal best and the best tournament the team has played with the team finally being able to string together some consistant play.

Things I learned from Mexico 

1.     Be aggressive in decisive moments. When its 18-18 or a very important time, take a risk and go for it because either two things can happen, you win or you lose and If I’m going to lose, I’m going to lose by going for it not by letting someone else win the game and take it from me because making a mistake ends in the same result as letting someone else win it and by being aggressive it gives me the best chance to win.

2.     Be strong within yourself, resilient and always stick true to what’s important especially when you don’t feel like it. E.g. when it’s really hot, when you’re under pressure, when your tired and your limbs feel unbearably heavy. In other words don’t get pushed around by external factors and have a resilient undying fight inside you


When I look back to Mexico, I realise I was so close to making a World Tour semi-final and Im happy with a result but always wanting more. Which keeps me driving forward and training hard.... 

I went in to the trip feeling quite confident after the mental, physical and emotional gains I made over the last season, being exposed to much more international and high-level Beach Volleyball.Living and training in the National Team environment in Adelaide, training at such a high quality level with world class coaches and facilities and top players in the country also helped. I had put in hard work every day in the gym, on the sand and playing plenty of tournaments in the lead up to the international challenge during the Australian summer. I believed we were well prepared. When your under pressure or feeling nervous I always find it very beneficial to have that hard work behind you to give you a feeling that you deserve to be there and deserve to win, as well as being in good physical condition and having plenty of quality ball touches. 

Last year we started off in Thailand where we played two Asian Beach Volleyball events. Thailand brought up some dejavu like feelings as last year when I ventured to the small scorching hot towns of Khanom and Samilia. I very much struggled in the heat to keep my head from pulsing and pounding with my heartbeat. I would pour bottle after bottle of water over my head to attempt to cool myself down. 

Thailand ended up very disappointing after having some average performances and playing far below our capabilities. We ended losing to Thailand 2 in the Khanom tournament. If we played strong and had presence, Thailand’s a team I believe we would be able to knock off but unfortunately we were pushed around by external factors and let them have an opportunity to get excited and play free and take us on, which they did and they deservedly won. 

We were lucky enough to celebrate Thai New Year in between the events which is a massive water festival where literally the whole country wear Hawaiian shirts and soak each other in buckets of water and have a huge water pistol fight. The emphasis is to soak away and cleanse from the last year to start the new year replenished and fresh. Its an amazing experience and the Thai people are all so friendly and get involved with huge smiles on their faces. Its so fun to walk around the city in a parade and seeing all the young children waiting on the corners just to try and shoot you once or twice. Check out the slideshow below of some of the highlights below like the Kazahkastan Terminator who always means business or Jus Mowen drawing attention to herself, becoming the perfect target while on a horse. 

In the next event we came with a lot more fire and determination, we won our pool quite comfortably and got a very unlucky draw in the first round of single elimination. We drew the Qataris’ who are originally from Brazil but have moved across as there is a lot more financial support for them and limited international opportunities in the talent rich Beach Volley powerhouse Brazil. I was very pumped up for this game and managed to play the most free and aggressive since I moved to Adelaide and finally stopped feeling the pressure to perform and just played to win. We fought hard but the previous tournaments champions were in red hot form and came up with the big points in the back ends of sets to beat us 23-25 20-22… again another disappointing result… we had ambitions of winning medals in both Thailand events yet walked away with a 17th and 9th playing far below our capabilities.

We didn’t have too long to sulk around and wallow in our disappointment as in the next few days we would be arriving in Fuzhou, China for my very first FIVB World Tour event. I was like a little kid on Christmas eve finally getting to see my idols; the guys I spent (and still do!) hours watching online and admiring, competing in real life.

We were in the qualifier and scheduled to play the Canadians on centre court. I remember it very clearly as I was so excited and all my senses and feelings were so heightened. Big games and new experiences make me feel so alive and haven’t found a way to feel anything else that intense through working, studying or everyday life which is why I love playing this sport and taking it to higher levels and achieving more.

It was a dark and cloudy day with the rain drizzling down and the atmosphere of the tournament being quite dull with only the second round of qualifying matches yet to commence. It didn’t feel cold as adrenaline was pumping and the fight and competition was about to begin. First set was very anticlimactic as we lost 16-21. I was very nervous and made a fair few silly errors being extremely quiet and internal while I struggling to find my nerve and just play calm and free in the match. In the second I came out calmer, more in control and found a way to have some presence and voice on court. I found my block timing and we established a strong 17-13 lead. The Canadians out smarted us by switching to serve Sam and making some clever defensive plays. They worked the referee really well and got away with a couple dodgy calls and came back to win the match after we had a lack of conviction to close out the set. No excuses it was all in our hands and we let it slip.

So again another disappointing result but luckily we found a DIY korean BBQ place which helped us eat away our sorrows without having to worry about getting food poisoning with Damo and Courty, the other Aussie boys. In the end though we ate that place out of all of any edible meats but there was plenty of chicken feet and livers left for the dare devils or traditional chinese (by "we" I mean Josh Court ate all the edible food).

Team morale was still low, we were both frustrated with each other and ourselves. We yet again played below par and couldn’t find any form or come together to perform under pressure. We went to Shanghai to watch the Grand Slam as we didn’t have enough points to enter and felt it would be the best place to train for our upcoming event in Mexico both for having training opportunities, seeing the Worlds best in action and catching up with our coaches. The team was a bit battered and bruised at the harsh Beach Volley world and battles faced while not performing on tour. 

Both of us had thoughts of just going home and calling the rest of the tour off but we decided to persevere and head to Mexico for the FIVB Puerta Vallarta Open.

As I’ve currently got some time off I’ve decided to start writing a blog. I would very much like to share my experiences and learning’s while travelling the world and chasing my dream of becoming a professional Beach Volleyballer and winning Olympic medals for Australia, to anyone who is interested in reading really. Through this blog I will talk about the countries I travel to, the challenges I face in day-to-day trainings and the pressures I face, overcome and fall short to In competition. 

I am hoping by doing this I can better identify why things happen, both good and bad in my life and sport as well as hopefully have some eureka moments and have realisations that are just under my nose. In the last few years I have also found coaching and helping people grow very rewarding, not just in a sporting sense but in a life sense by helping people be good and the best person they can possibly be. I am hoping that by doing this I can continue to help people (especially all the dorky kids that cheer me on)  by sharing my experiences and bringing up topics, which could spark discussion. Lastly I have developed a strong connection to people in my life both friends and family who I don’t get to see very often and I believe this is a good platform to keep them connected along the way to my Beach Volley success. 

So I’m not naturally the most sharing person, who writes up soppy Facebook statuses and shares all my feelings to whoever will bare to listen to them even though deep down I’m actually a bit of a sook and an emotional person. Ive decided to basically just give it a crack. Why do this you ask?

Why not? (Something you should ask yourself everyday). I truly believe that by being open to different experiences and always saying yes to things you can grow and experience life so much better. If you attack every obstacle with a “yes I can” attitude life becomes so much more enjoyable. 

Lastly please don’t think I’m a life guru or Volleyball expert. I am very driven to reach my life aspirations and Volleyball dreams. I have taken big steps towards these goals but still many more to come so hopefully your interested enough to come on my journey with me (gheeyy, but seriously).

Thanks for reading
:)

Heres a clip from national tour two years ago, looking forward to next years tour!
Thanks to Matt Adam from Pure Apparel for making the vid, check out his website here
http://pureapparel.com.au/