I am someone who aspires to be and do a lot in my life. I want it all… I want to go to the olympics. I want financial security and a high paying job. I want to live a life of purpose making a difference in others lives. I want to travel the world and experience amazing things. I want a life full of passion, excitement and love and I have a fear of ‘mediocrity’.
I really enjoy a concept explored in a movie ‘the gambler’ with Mark Wahlberg. The concept is what is the point of doing anything if your not a genius, if it doesn't change the world, if its not extraordinary because mediocre is boring, useless and pointless. So whats the point of being a writer if your not shakespeare because your work will effect very few people and in the end. Whats the point of playing tennis if you kick around the tour just outside of the top 200 and spend all your time on the road earning an average wage. Whats the point of getting a job as an accountant, spending 70% of your time crunching numbers, working 9-5 just so you can earn enough money to live and spend a few hours of your weekend enjoying yourself and then just go back to work and do it all again. Is that really living? Cause it sounds kinda depressing yet thats the reality for most of us.
Its so damn hard to be a genius, nearly impossible. Considering the shear volume of people in this world who have extraordinary talents that are discovered and honed from such a young age these days. Golf and Tennis players are coached from around 5 years old, if not younger and from those hundreds of thousands of kids only 1 or 2% will even reach the pros. Its so tough to turn the tides if you aren't born into a family with a lot of money and connections. Sure I can live a comfortable life but to develop a portfolio of millions if not hundreds of thousands of dollars feels so distant in todays world in my opinion.
I don't necessarily like this realm of thinking. As I have learnt “comparison is the thief of joy” so I take it more directly related to me and my own investment and time. If I am not ‘all in’ to my studies- whats the point? If Im not all in to sporting ambitions- whats the point? If I'm not all in to a relationship- whats the point? because Im not going to reach my true capabilities as an academic or as an athlete without being ‘all in’ and putting in countless hours and if I don't reach my capabilities, I'm not going to be truly successful or great in that chosen field. Same with relationships, same with any goal or ambition I have in any part of my life.
The more I think about it, the more I realise its bullshit. I think the point of life, is to be happy. So what if Im not a genius as long as I do things and have people in my life that make me happy. I can grow and learn on the path to success and give literally everything I am capable of giving to achieving that success but if I fall short… am I a failure? No! as the cliche says “enjoy the journey, not the destination”. I am in control of the journey. I am not in control of the destination as there is too many variables that play a part in the outcome, yet everyday I can be grateful for the day and thankful for the challenges and can live a happy life.
Real loving relationships are such a huge investment of ones time, to get to know someone, to care about them, to work through your ‘issues’ (cause everyone has them) takes years. To get to know someone on that deep level takes a level of admiration or adoration for the other person and then a lot of work! I think the key is finding someone in which the work doesn't feel like work. Same thing goes with career choices, to have a real rewarding, challenging and fulfilling career takes many years of education and experience. How do you simply find all the time to put in to all these different areas?
When I say I want it all, I want it all in every part of my life- not just one. I want the job, the health, the purpose, the relationships. To me happiness isn't being a millionaire yet having no-one to share it with and hurting other people to get there. So my focus is being my best self in every area and working on improving my productivity and and time in said area. I want to work harder everyday yet enjoy that work in all areas. In my opinion they feed off each other anyway. Eating healthy and working out makes you feel happier and improves your relationships and mental capacity. Success in uni and overcoming challenges there helps me be a better athlete by dealing with pressure and exposing me to different way of thinking. So instead of jumping all to one area or option and spending all my focus and investment there, Im just going to roll with the punches, follow my heart , live with balance and see where it take me.
I am going to do my best to be productive and invest allocated time in to each area at different times. I am going to be present when I am studying for an hour, present when I am watching game footage for 30 minutes and present when Im chatting to someone for 5 minutes. I will do my best to cut out useless time scrolling on my phone. I will be all in and present in my activity or completely switched off and zoned out into nothingness (cause sometimes I need that too)