Its been a fair while since I posted on here. Ive decide to start writing some more posts to help me reflect upon my experiences and continue to learn and grow from the teachings of trying to be the very best person and player I am capable of. I also find it quite enjoyable looking back on my experiences and see this, kind of like my own journal. I am willing to be vulnerable and post this for anyone who may find value in it, so feel free to comment or hit me up if you have any questions or want to chat about any of it.
A “quick” catchup of some key lessons and trips.
December 2014- FIVB Manguang, South Africa. - Balance!
This event was where I finally got the balance right! I often feel a slight level of disappointment or regret when I travel for Beach Volleyball and don't get to fully immerse myself in the city, country or culture. I have been to many countries and just played volleyball and left. I know thats part of the deal, making sure I am my very best physically, mentally and emotionally to compete but at the same time; I am more than just an athlete and want to live and experience new and exciting things, as well as performing on court and in my career.
Besides getting things right on court and qualifying to place 9th after playing epic team ball, we spontaneously decided to travel down to Cape Town. We caught up with a legendary mate (Mark Petersen) and I got to experience my birth-country. I climbed table-mountain, witnessed an acapella group sing, swam with great whites, patted lion cubs, swam in 12 degree ocean water (ice bath temp), bungee jumped, went to a cheetah park and saw some crazy eye-opening things like Soweto, a shanty town that has grown to a population of around 5 million people. I also got to finally see my family and gorgeous little cousins who I never really got to meet living in different countries.
This is what life's supposed to be about! stepping up, taking risks and rising to challenges in your chosen profession and then living spontaneously with very few plans and seeing what the world has to offer. I finally got to “feel the beat of Africa” that my Dad always talks about.
April 2015- FIVB Fuzhou, China- Selflessness/ Processes over outcomes.
This was again an exhilarating event that I got to play with one of my favourite people; Casey Grice. The teamwork, belief and excitement between us was higher than any team I have ever been a part of. We had this uncanny ability to see the game in a similar way, naturally play from the same playbook, in which we would fight on court for each other, lift the other person up and raise ‘our’ game to standards neither of us had ever really played at before and simply just have fun being around each other.
We fought through country quota, two single elimination qualifying matches and then placed second in our pool. We ended up losing our first playoff game to finish 17th but left with winning 5 from 7 games. Now 17th doesn't sound so good compared to some of my other career results but when I put my ego aside, this was one hell of a tournament. One of the times where all your handwork pays off and your team is vibing, nothing can touch you cause you are up for the challenge. You have a soldier you are willing to die for beside you and you are just gonna take one step/ one pass/ one side out/ one point at a time regardless of your inner doubts or fears.
I remember sitting at the warm up courts and watching Brouwer/ Muewson absolutely tee off on balls. I just sat their in awe. These guys are 6ft 6 and 6ft 10 but with crazy speed. they both can jump out of their skin and do some inhuman feats on court. They won World Champs in 2013 in their early 20’s and more recently won the bronze medal at the 2016 olympic games. I couldn't help but feel like I didn't belong but it didn't matter what happened on court. It didn't matter if I was going to get smoked, didn't matter if I wasn't good enough because I had my mate and we were going to have a crack, side by side.
When I look back its funny to see that many of my most ‘successful’ tournaments or games didn't end with a good result if viewed from the outside world but from an inner appreciation of the challenges faced and the performances on court.
September 2015- FIVB Rio, Brazil- Don't have to feel good to show up and perform
This was an awkward tournament for me. I was excited to go to South America for the first time in my life and see a whole new continent and a new vibrant city but everything felt numb. Firstly I split up with my girlfriend Jacqui the day before I flew. Sure this was after a few months with no passion, romance or excitement for eachother and it was definitely time to say goodbye but I still lost my best friend and the person who knew me better than anyone else in the world. Its worse when you have 48 hours of solo travel to let that sink in. Along with this I lost my other best mate and playing partner Casey, who decided to pursue some other career opportunities. So I was playing with a new partner Bo, who I had a lot of respect for as a player but I didn't admire in the same way and at the time didn't really want to play with due to some differing values.
Even though the whole trip felt like it was in black and white and I didn't ‘feel’ the colour of previous events, we toughened up and went to work. We had 2 or 3 sessions training together and no previous playing partnership to build on but we managed to fight and scrap our way through the qualifier (Where Bo was sick form food poisoning) to finish 9th place.
It just goes to show if you don't let your emotions and thoughts push you around, you can still do great things regardless of feelings.
February 2016- Aus Champs- Surfers Paradise QLD- The beautiful harshness of life.
This was a beautifully harsh tournament. I moved to Adelaide earlier that year and was fortunate enough to stay with some of my good friends from Perth, who really supported me and had me missing home. I had a tough finals day, we beat Australia’s top mens team of Kapa/Mchugh for the first time ever in my career in a epic 18-21 26-24 19-17 semi-final and then went on to match up with Court/Schumann of Victoria in the final. We had 3 match points in the final, two of which should of been swings for the match and I choked incredibly hard and lost a sure thing for my team.
I can honestly say this was the most heart-breaking loss of my career. I remember walking back to the hotel cramping in both legs, shattered from a brutal day in the hot and humid queensland sun. I checked my phone on the walk (limp) home and saw countless messages of support from family and friends supporting me. I burst out in tears as I felt an overwhelming wave of disappointment crash on me because I felt like I let everyone important to me down.
In elite sport and in life, one point, one inch, one millimetre touch, one wrong word, one second of lost focus can cost you everything. Winning and losing, and with it self-worth and perceived success or failure run across such a fine line. Lucky enough pain passes with time and I have learnt that you either win or learn. Assuming you are resilient enough to push through the heartache. There will always be another opportunity or another person to fall into your life if you keep moving forward.
March 2016- AVC Asian Championships- Manly NSW- Risk it for the biscuit/ Past doesn't impact the present
Heading in to this tournament I had to sit out of training for 5 weeks due to a torn ab and my skin folds skyrocketed. My preparation was far from ideal but it was almost a blessing in disguise because I had 5 weeks to sit on the loss of Australian Championships and I was itching to play and just compete!
The injury almost gave us freedom to play with no expectations, as we were just grateful to be on court. We just fought hard, hustled and backed ourselves in playing fearless. We had a motto for the tournament:
“Accept the challenge without reservation or doubt and risk the depression of losing, so we may experience the exhilaration of victory.”
We lived true to this and didn't worry about where the team was but we just played fearlessly and we were willing to risk losing and take chances to give ourselves a better chance of winning. We played pretty well and made the final. I got revenge on Court/ Schumann who beat me in Aus Champs. We lost the final but we were in a good position to win. It sucked not taking out the whole thing but the match was streamed on national TV and it was the most prize money Ive ever won in a tournament.
and like I said before, you either win or learn. so looking forward to the next opportunity.
If you have read this far, thank you. I hope you find some value in my thoughts and hope to continue to throw up some ideas.
A “quick” catchup of some key lessons and trips.
December 2014- FIVB Manguang, South Africa. - Balance!
This event was where I finally got the balance right! I often feel a slight level of disappointment or regret when I travel for Beach Volleyball and don't get to fully immerse myself in the city, country or culture. I have been to many countries and just played volleyball and left. I know thats part of the deal, making sure I am my very best physically, mentally and emotionally to compete but at the same time; I am more than just an athlete and want to live and experience new and exciting things, as well as performing on court and in my career.
Besides getting things right on court and qualifying to place 9th after playing epic team ball, we spontaneously decided to travel down to Cape Town. We caught up with a legendary mate (Mark Petersen) and I got to experience my birth-country. I climbed table-mountain, witnessed an acapella group sing, swam with great whites, patted lion cubs, swam in 12 degree ocean water (ice bath temp), bungee jumped, went to a cheetah park and saw some crazy eye-opening things like Soweto, a shanty town that has grown to a population of around 5 million people. I also got to finally see my family and gorgeous little cousins who I never really got to meet living in different countries.
This is what life's supposed to be about! stepping up, taking risks and rising to challenges in your chosen profession and then living spontaneously with very few plans and seeing what the world has to offer. I finally got to “feel the beat of Africa” that my Dad always talks about.
April 2015- FIVB Fuzhou, China- Selflessness/ Processes over outcomes.
This was again an exhilarating event that I got to play with one of my favourite people; Casey Grice. The teamwork, belief and excitement between us was higher than any team I have ever been a part of. We had this uncanny ability to see the game in a similar way, naturally play from the same playbook, in which we would fight on court for each other, lift the other person up and raise ‘our’ game to standards neither of us had ever really played at before and simply just have fun being around each other.
We fought through country quota, two single elimination qualifying matches and then placed second in our pool. We ended up losing our first playoff game to finish 17th but left with winning 5 from 7 games. Now 17th doesn't sound so good compared to some of my other career results but when I put my ego aside, this was one hell of a tournament. One of the times where all your handwork pays off and your team is vibing, nothing can touch you cause you are up for the challenge. You have a soldier you are willing to die for beside you and you are just gonna take one step/ one pass/ one side out/ one point at a time regardless of your inner doubts or fears.
I remember sitting at the warm up courts and watching Brouwer/ Muewson absolutely tee off on balls. I just sat their in awe. These guys are 6ft 6 and 6ft 10 but with crazy speed. they both can jump out of their skin and do some inhuman feats on court. They won World Champs in 2013 in their early 20’s and more recently won the bronze medal at the 2016 olympic games. I couldn't help but feel like I didn't belong but it didn't matter what happened on court. It didn't matter if I was going to get smoked, didn't matter if I wasn't good enough because I had my mate and we were going to have a crack, side by side.
When I look back its funny to see that many of my most ‘successful’ tournaments or games didn't end with a good result if viewed from the outside world but from an inner appreciation of the challenges faced and the performances on court.
September 2015- FIVB Rio, Brazil- Don't have to feel good to show up and perform
This was an awkward tournament for me. I was excited to go to South America for the first time in my life and see a whole new continent and a new vibrant city but everything felt numb. Firstly I split up with my girlfriend Jacqui the day before I flew. Sure this was after a few months with no passion, romance or excitement for eachother and it was definitely time to say goodbye but I still lost my best friend and the person who knew me better than anyone else in the world. Its worse when you have 48 hours of solo travel to let that sink in. Along with this I lost my other best mate and playing partner Casey, who decided to pursue some other career opportunities. So I was playing with a new partner Bo, who I had a lot of respect for as a player but I didn't admire in the same way and at the time didn't really want to play with due to some differing values.
Even though the whole trip felt like it was in black and white and I didn't ‘feel’ the colour of previous events, we toughened up and went to work. We had 2 or 3 sessions training together and no previous playing partnership to build on but we managed to fight and scrap our way through the qualifier (Where Bo was sick form food poisoning) to finish 9th place.
It just goes to show if you don't let your emotions and thoughts push you around, you can still do great things regardless of feelings.
February 2016- Aus Champs- Surfers Paradise QLD- The beautiful harshness of life.
This was a beautifully harsh tournament. I moved to Adelaide earlier that year and was fortunate enough to stay with some of my good friends from Perth, who really supported me and had me missing home. I had a tough finals day, we beat Australia’s top mens team of Kapa/Mchugh for the first time ever in my career in a epic 18-21 26-24 19-17 semi-final and then went on to match up with Court/Schumann of Victoria in the final. We had 3 match points in the final, two of which should of been swings for the match and I choked incredibly hard and lost a sure thing for my team.
I can honestly say this was the most heart-breaking loss of my career. I remember walking back to the hotel cramping in both legs, shattered from a brutal day in the hot and humid queensland sun. I checked my phone on the walk (limp) home and saw countless messages of support from family and friends supporting me. I burst out in tears as I felt an overwhelming wave of disappointment crash on me because I felt like I let everyone important to me down.
In elite sport and in life, one point, one inch, one millimetre touch, one wrong word, one second of lost focus can cost you everything. Winning and losing, and with it self-worth and perceived success or failure run across such a fine line. Lucky enough pain passes with time and I have learnt that you either win or learn. Assuming you are resilient enough to push through the heartache. There will always be another opportunity or another person to fall into your life if you keep moving forward.
March 2016- AVC Asian Championships- Manly NSW- Risk it for the biscuit/ Past doesn't impact the present
Heading in to this tournament I had to sit out of training for 5 weeks due to a torn ab and my skin folds skyrocketed. My preparation was far from ideal but it was almost a blessing in disguise because I had 5 weeks to sit on the loss of Australian Championships and I was itching to play and just compete!
The injury almost gave us freedom to play with no expectations, as we were just grateful to be on court. We just fought hard, hustled and backed ourselves in playing fearless. We had a motto for the tournament:
“Accept the challenge without reservation or doubt and risk the depression of losing, so we may experience the exhilaration of victory.”
We lived true to this and didn't worry about where the team was but we just played fearlessly and we were willing to risk losing and take chances to give ourselves a better chance of winning. We played pretty well and made the final. I got revenge on Court/ Schumann who beat me in Aus Champs. We lost the final but we were in a good position to win. It sucked not taking out the whole thing but the match was streamed on national TV and it was the most prize money Ive ever won in a tournament.
and like I said before, you either win or learn. so looking forward to the next opportunity.
If you have read this far, thank you. I hope you find some value in my thoughts and hope to continue to throw up some ideas.