Two things happened this weekend. I witnessed a beautiful wedding where two amazing people combined their lives and then I saw a great mate in heartache due to a tragic loss of one of his friends. Both of these put things in perspective for me and really sunk in how beautiful yet how fragile life is. It makes me remember how silly my problems are and appreciate all the beauty in the world. It reminds me how I want to live my live my life.
Ive been toying around with this idea for a few weeks now of making decisions either with my heart or my head. I once heard that the only motivators in life are fear or love and every reason we do something is a sub-category of either one of those.
The area of my life that I've been finding this most relevant to lately is relationships. We are currently working out playing partnerships for future seasons and we often raise the similarities between a successful partnership in Beach Volleyball and a successful romantic relationship. It makes sense because they both have the same core functions:
to improve the quality of each others lives
to help each other grow
to share in each others successes and failures
to help each other achieve their goals
to give selflessly to each other
to appreciate each other
to pick each other up
to have fun together
to know and understand each other on a deeper level
Both types of relationships take a lot of hard work no matter who you are but its worth it (I hope)
Making decisions with my heart sounds lame and dorky every time I say it but there’s many other words for it. Intuition, soul, gut, feeling, instinct come to mind and for me it appeals to my more daring, adventurous, risk-taking side. It means aligning my decisions to my own personal values of love, passion, honesty, selflessness, open-mindedness, honour and spirituality- the feeling that I belong to something greater than just myself, just a job or just a sport.
We’ve all grown up being told “why don't you use your head?” or “Why don't you think things through?” Surely looking back most people can look at their stupid ‘mistakes’ with fondness. The times they lived, the times they were free, the times they didn't think and most importantly the times that have moulded them and helped them become the people they are today.
My head side of me is the more cautious/ conservative side. The side telling me to get a university degree, get a job and settle down. To make decisions based on ‘logic’, finances or what society views as what should happen next or what is ‘right’.
I may be over exaggerating the differences in the two sides. I may be making the ‘heart’ look like the hero and the ‘head’ the villain and I know there is space for balance. Although from my experiences every time Ive made decisions purely on logic, I haven't been able to sleep at night. Ive felt an uneasiness in me, that I'm making a mistake or settling for less than I deserve and when I've pushed through that, Ive felt boring. Ive felt life become monotonous and lose its flair and excitement.
Ive felt like this twice in my life. One was when I got a job working in insurance full-time and just lost all passion for things in my life. The other was when I was over committed to volleyball. I would train, eat, work, sleep and do pretty much nothing else ever. Everything I would do had to help me perform or save money to travel or both and I was trying to be a robot. Both were no way to live, even though I love my sport, I am more than just an athlete. If I cant socialise, have a beer with a mate, spend $50 on a jumper or jump off a jetty… whats the point of anything? If I cant have fun… why bother getting up every morning.
I believe in making sacrifices and hustling for bigger goals but I still want to enjoy that grind and have a level of balance and enjoy the smaller things all throughout.
When I think of any of my idols and doing great things; none of those people settled for less. In the face of unpopular opinion or financial hardships or self doubt or fear, they all persevered and came out better on the other side. Muhammad Ali comes to mind when he refused to go to the Vietnam war, Eddie the eagle when everyone was tirelessly telling him to give up on his dreams of being a winter Olympic ski-jumper and countless others like Conor McGregor, Oprah Winfrey or Lebron James who were all dirt poor at one stage but kept hustling and grinding to achieve great things.
So when it comes to the tough decisions on relationships or anything in life, my philosophy is follow your ‘heart’ and go with what feels most right. I don't want to be in a relationship, a job, a partnership or a life because I ‘should be’ and it makes ‘sense’. I want to be happy and following my ‘heart’ has made me the most happy, even when its taken me to places, that I probably shouldn't be or suck at the time.
I like the idea of taking one step at a time in the direction your intuition leads you. I like to try and be open-minded because I can be happy in a million different ways and that's the end goal. If it doesn't work out the way I thought it would or could…. cool, get over it and take the next step. I try to believe that eventually everything will work out.
While writing this, I don't currently have a Volleyball partner, a relationship, any assets, a degree or a lot of money but I probably wouldn't have it any other way… I guess we will wait and see if it all works out.
Steve Jobs: “Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
Ive been toying around with this idea for a few weeks now of making decisions either with my heart or my head. I once heard that the only motivators in life are fear or love and every reason we do something is a sub-category of either one of those.
The area of my life that I've been finding this most relevant to lately is relationships. We are currently working out playing partnerships for future seasons and we often raise the similarities between a successful partnership in Beach Volleyball and a successful romantic relationship. It makes sense because they both have the same core functions:
to improve the quality of each others lives
to help each other grow
to share in each others successes and failures
to help each other achieve their goals
to give selflessly to each other
to appreciate each other
to pick each other up
to have fun together
to know and understand each other on a deeper level
Both types of relationships take a lot of hard work no matter who you are but its worth it (I hope)
Making decisions with my heart sounds lame and dorky every time I say it but there’s many other words for it. Intuition, soul, gut, feeling, instinct come to mind and for me it appeals to my more daring, adventurous, risk-taking side. It means aligning my decisions to my own personal values of love, passion, honesty, selflessness, open-mindedness, honour and spirituality- the feeling that I belong to something greater than just myself, just a job or just a sport.
We’ve all grown up being told “why don't you use your head?” or “Why don't you think things through?” Surely looking back most people can look at their stupid ‘mistakes’ with fondness. The times they lived, the times they were free, the times they didn't think and most importantly the times that have moulded them and helped them become the people they are today.
My head side of me is the more cautious/ conservative side. The side telling me to get a university degree, get a job and settle down. To make decisions based on ‘logic’, finances or what society views as what should happen next or what is ‘right’.
I may be over exaggerating the differences in the two sides. I may be making the ‘heart’ look like the hero and the ‘head’ the villain and I know there is space for balance. Although from my experiences every time Ive made decisions purely on logic, I haven't been able to sleep at night. Ive felt an uneasiness in me, that I'm making a mistake or settling for less than I deserve and when I've pushed through that, Ive felt boring. Ive felt life become monotonous and lose its flair and excitement.
Ive felt like this twice in my life. One was when I got a job working in insurance full-time and just lost all passion for things in my life. The other was when I was over committed to volleyball. I would train, eat, work, sleep and do pretty much nothing else ever. Everything I would do had to help me perform or save money to travel or both and I was trying to be a robot. Both were no way to live, even though I love my sport, I am more than just an athlete. If I cant socialise, have a beer with a mate, spend $50 on a jumper or jump off a jetty… whats the point of anything? If I cant have fun… why bother getting up every morning.
I believe in making sacrifices and hustling for bigger goals but I still want to enjoy that grind and have a level of balance and enjoy the smaller things all throughout.
When I think of any of my idols and doing great things; none of those people settled for less. In the face of unpopular opinion or financial hardships or self doubt or fear, they all persevered and came out better on the other side. Muhammad Ali comes to mind when he refused to go to the Vietnam war, Eddie the eagle when everyone was tirelessly telling him to give up on his dreams of being a winter Olympic ski-jumper and countless others like Conor McGregor, Oprah Winfrey or Lebron James who were all dirt poor at one stage but kept hustling and grinding to achieve great things.
So when it comes to the tough decisions on relationships or anything in life, my philosophy is follow your ‘heart’ and go with what feels most right. I don't want to be in a relationship, a job, a partnership or a life because I ‘should be’ and it makes ‘sense’. I want to be happy and following my ‘heart’ has made me the most happy, even when its taken me to places, that I probably shouldn't be or suck at the time.
I like the idea of taking one step at a time in the direction your intuition leads you. I like to try and be open-minded because I can be happy in a million different ways and that's the end goal. If it doesn't work out the way I thought it would or could…. cool, get over it and take the next step. I try to believe that eventually everything will work out.
While writing this, I don't currently have a Volleyball partner, a relationship, any assets, a degree or a lot of money but I probably wouldn't have it any other way… I guess we will wait and see if it all works out.
Steve Jobs: “Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”